God's Inner Quiet

Almost a year later ...

Stinking dissertation! @#$%$#! My first thougtht this morning. Gross, ah? And had to go and use that language on a Sunday too.

Peeled my butt out of bed, left for church 15 minutes late, sat out in the lobby, drank a cup of coffee, and listened to most of the sermon, then I don't know why but I went in.

Charlie, our pastor, was talking about our current decade, the decade of fear and anxiety. He started talking about 9-11, how there were 10x more depressed and anxious people now than there were 40 years ago. You could feel the tension in the room rising. He started in on how the economy was poor, housing market had lost all kinds of money, stocks had cut most retirement funds by a quarter; it wasn't pretty. I shaved my head this morning and I still felt the hair in my scalp standing on end!

Two quick jumps, following him.

Moses took a couple million people walking out of Egypt, toward the Red Sea, and Special Forces of their time came after 'em. They were probably worried. A bit. God said, "Chill." (The direct translation is "who's your daddy?"or something like that.) Anyway, bottom line, God said this is a chance to grow faith. All you gotta do is let me do my thing. And they did.

Second jump, letter to the Phillipians.

Paul wrote to them that good things are from God. Any good thing. Breathing today. That swallow you were just able to do. Your ability to read this. He said, focus on the good things, and thank God for them. Because he gave 'em to you.

An incidental sideways glance into me would have told you that right then, I began to digress. Wondering why I always apply good lessons to others but avoid self-application like the plague. It is stupid to always give others the gift of wisdom and parch myself.

So, I think Charlie intended to teach on anxiety and faith this morning. But God's Inner Quiet must have wanted me to learn about faith, silence and the foolishness of pure intellectual belief. I want more than what I have. I want to want God like an addict wants the next fix, like a greedy tycoon wants the next deal.